Tending is the act of caring for someone (or something). Here we are looking to Operationalise this word as a core value to be embedded in the Hitchhiker Governance.
> Note: this is a first draft extracted from an audio Ramble provoked by an Act of Significance.
# What is Tending? At its core, "tending" (in the sense we use it here), is the act of showing care, attention and responsible stewardship toward a person or task. It encompasses emotional, intellectual, and practical investing of time and energy that enables others to function, grow, or heal. Tending may take many forms, but in the context of our work, it broadly falls under three categories: - Classical Tending (top-down) - Reciprocol Tending (horizontal) - Reverse Tending (bottom-up) Let’s explore each of these in turn. ---
# Classical Tending > Top-Down Care This is the conventional model that most people associate with nurturing or supporting someone. It involves someone in a position of greater expertise, authority or maturity offering care to someone less experienced or more vulnerable. 🔍 Examples include: - A nurse tending to a patient, offering both emotional support and medical expertise - A mentor guiding a student or junior employee - A mother nurturing her child Classical tending is usually: - ⬆ Top-down: The caregiver holds more knowledge, experience, or authority - 💡 Expertise-led: The care includes intellectual guidance or recommendations - ❤️ Emotionally considerate: A mix of empathy, discipline and self-sacrifice It’s worth noting that tending can include both tender, nurturing behaviour as well as "tough love"—pulling off a dressing, enforcing discipline, or delivering difficult truths necessary for growth. 🧠 Tending blends multiple dimensions: - Emotional (empathy, affection) - Intellectual (guidance, problem-solving) - Practical (time, physical support) The archetypal form is the mother-child relationship, where unconditional love and care facilitate the child’s growth, even when the child appears selfish or oblivious to the care being received. --- ### 3. Horizontal Tending – Peer-to-Peer Care This form describes mutual care between equals or peers. It tends to manifest in close friendships, partnerships or collaborative teams. While it still involves emotional, intellectual, and practical components, the dynamic is non-hierarchical. 👫 Examples: - Friendships in which care is mutual - Military units where each soldier supports one another - Creative partnerships (e.g. in a band or design firm) Horizontal tending shines in collaborative teams: - In high-functioning military units, soldiers look after each other’s emotional and physical well-being - In design or law firms, partners must tune into each other's pressures so that the collective work doesn't suffer - In creative settings, it's critical to sense when a partner is burning out or stuck and gently step in with support 💡 Importantly, horizontal tending becomes more vital when output is collective. If multiple people must deliver results together, mutual support ensures alignment, resilience and effectiveness. That said, over-maternal or overly controlling forms of care (reminiscent of classical top-down tending) are discouraged in this context. For instance, shielding a peer from consequences or overstepping emotionally can create imbalance or resentment. 👨👩👦 Classical Hierarchies vs Modern Egalitarianism In most traditional families and businesses, there’s still a hierarchical tending pattern: - The man manages finances and strategic decisions - The woman tends the children and home empathetically - The children receive emotional and practical care While societal values are shifting, horizontal or egalitarian tending structures are still developing and not as widely practiced. --- ### 4. Reverse (Bottom-Up) Tending – Supporting the Leader This is the rarest and perhaps most intellectually compelling form of tending. Often overlooked or undervalued, bottom-up tending describes the process by which employees, members, or subordinates consciously support their leader or facilitator. 📌 Where does it occur? - In modern, voluntary, purpose-led, or non-hierarchical organisations - In teams using a rotating chair or facilitator structure - In contexts where leaders don’t receive traditional compensation or power 🤯 Challenges Leaders Face Without Compensation: In classical organisations, leaders are usually compensated for their stress through: - High financial salaries - Elevated status or recognition - Privilege of control over others But in facilitatory or voluntary organisations, those playing the leadership role: - Get none of those traditional rewards - May not even get credit if the project succeeds - Must constantly manage emotional, strategic and interpersonal complexity Often, they take on the burden of: - Saying “no” more than anyone else - Mediating conflicts - Planning strategically under pressure - Making themselves emotionally available - Working far more intensely than others This invisible labour is easy to overlook—and damaging if unacknowledged. 🏗 Why Reverse Tending Matters In these modern organisations, the structure only remains stable when there’s conscious care shown to those in leadership or facilitator roles. Just like soldiers support each other horizontally, team members must look upwards and care for their facilitator. This includes: - Checking in when stress is suspected (even after just one sign) - Offering feedback, emotional support or even just small praises - Being alert to overwhelm, burnout or emotional fluctuations - Respecting the extra burden carried and advocating for their well-being 📊 A Possible Formula for Care Distribution: - 50% – Self and family (classical tending, including self-care) - 30% – Tending up (leader/facilitator support) - 20% – Horizontal tending (peer support) That is, a thoughtful team member in a flat organisation should invest about 30% of their care energy upwards, being more vigilant to potential distress in their leader than they would be in a peer. --- ### 5. Applying Reverse Tending in Real Teams 🌀 Especially relevant in: - Agile working environments with rotating facilitators - Volunteer groups where no one's paid properly - Purpose-led organisations where health and ethics matter Best practices include: - Rotating leadership roles so no one bears the weight indefinitely - Training everyone to tend *up*, not just *down* or sideways - Encouraging frankness, empathy and structured emotional check-ins - Addressing early signs of stress in a leader without waiting too long - Acknowledging that not all are equally suited to this style and supporting those who take on more emotionally demanding roles 💡 Note: Not everyone is good at facilitation or enjoys its complexity. Systems should be flexible enough to account for this variation, while still promoting a culture where tending flows in all directions. --- ### 6. Conclusion – The Future of Tending Modern organisations need to evolve beyond top-down models. While classical and horizontal tending are relatively well-understood, reverse tending is the critical missing layer in many voluntary, purpose-led and decentralised teams. Without it, even the most well-meaning non-hierarchical groups fall apart due to: - Unacknowledged emotional inequality - Leader burnout - Misinterpreting stress as failure or weakness Tending—whether upward, downward or sideways—needs to be made a shared competency in future-ready groups. Let’s start caring not just for those “under” us or next to us, but also those assuming the heaviest burdens—even when they wear no crown. --- 👣 Footnote: Terms: - Classical/Top-Down Tending – Care from authority to subordinate (e.g. mentor to student) - Horizontal Tending – Care among equals (e.g. team members, partners) - Reverse/Bottom-Up Tending – Subordinates caring for leaders (critical in voluntary orgs) 💬 Final takeaway: Care is not a one-way street. It's a dynamic, multi-directional flow—and modern structures thrive when all three forms of tending coexist and are actively practised.