An *oxymoron* is what happens when two words that have absolutely no business being together decide to shack up and start a phrase.
> **Oxymorons:** the doughnuts of language: empty in the middle, but somehow still deeply satisfying.
It’s like a linguistic odd couple - think “deafening silence,” or more obliquely “government efficiency.” These are not just contradictions in terms; they’re little semantic pranks designed to confuse your brain while your mouth keeps talking.
Using an oxymoron in conversation is a great way to sound clever while saying nothing. It’s perfect for job titles (“freelance intern”), relationship statuses (“mutually exclusive”), or describing the plot of any time travel movie (“clearly confusing”).
Vogon's have a great fondness for such things.
# See also - Koan, Newspeak, Kashchenism and Skoba